San Diego Hysterical Society



Tanks For the Mammaries

by Elsie Holstein


The huge Coronado Dairy Farm located across the bay from downtown San Diego was plagued with bands of thieves that nightly came ashore in small boats to steal milk, right from the cows in the field.

Tank drives pirates into the sea
- Ryan D9 Assault Tank on Duty in Coronado -

The "Milk Pail Pirates" as they were known, had utter disregard for the Coronado sheriff and his two deputies. As the authorities would race to intercept boats landing on the southern shore, other pirates would beach their craft further north. Also, the pirates, unlike the constabulary, carried guns.

General Kearny, commander of the 3rd Marine Battalion stationed at Camp Elliott was called upon for assistance. Kearny arranged for his Armored Division to be moved to Coronado and assembled an Amphibious Assault force there to protect the dairy.

The tanks proved to be an effective deterrent to the pirates. The pirates later formed a Limited Liability Company and started a water taxi service on the bay.

The tank crews were left to clean the tank treads before returning them to Camp Elliott. Twenty-seven new words for cow manure came out of the exercise.


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