San Diego Hysterical Society



Cow's Water

by Bertha Janeway





 At the height of the San Diego Sand Bowl the good citizens of San Diego were desperate for drinking water. Too many cows only aided the children, and too much booze only aided a few adults.

Cabrillo tests cow's water
- Dr. Cabrillo downs cow's water -

Dr. Jonas Cabrillo of the Cabrillo Institution had luckily been doing some research on the molecular structure of cow's milk. He found that if one were to remove the w(hite) milk cell chromosomes from the cow, along with the f(at) milk cell chromosomes , the milk would come out as clear as water, but retain all of the nutrients of regular milk.

Fellow researchers and the popular press were less than enthusiastic with the concept of drinking cow's water, no matter how well thought out the chemistry. Some of Cabrillo's contemporaries even went so far as to have "May the cow water on you" bumper stickers made.

To settle the matter once and for all, Cabrillo called a press conference at the El Cortez Hotel. There, in front of reporters and cameramen, Cabrillo downed a milk bottle full of the clear liquid. Cabrillo had the foresight to also bring along a marketing person who introduced the product as a new European health drink: Pierré spring water from France. The Source (cows) was forgotten, and the water went on to become a best seller even after the drought was over.


Table of Contents
San Diego Hysterical Society home page.